HOW NOT TO SELL PLAYOFF TICKETS
Perhaps you heard about the kerfuffle with Toronto Maple Leaf playoff tickets. Earlier today, thousands of fans went online, hoping to purchase these ducats. You needed access to a special website, not the Maple Leafs site. You had to sign up with the "Last Minute Club". Even then, there was a malfunction in the system and you couldn't get through to Ticketmaster. Never has selling playoff tickets been so difficult. You would think this was the first time the Leafs had sold playoff tickets in........Oh never mind. Just imagine the meeting that took place at Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment, when they realized that the Leafs had clinched a playoff spot.
LEADER: OK everyone, let's lay out our strategy for selling these ridiculously overpriced tickets to a gullible public that's starving for a winner. First of all, what happened the last time we made the playoffs?
EMPLOYEE: Nobody knows sir. It was so long ago, all those employees have retired, or were fired by Brian Burke. Nobody has any experience in selling playoff tickets.
LEADER: Well, it can't be too difficult. Let's mail out letters to all our season ticket subscribers and put the remaining tickets on sale at the box office so people can line up.
EMPLOYEE: Sir, that may have worked in 2004, but nowadays everything is done online. I've been told it's way easier to sell them that way. Plus, we put the word out through social media.
LEADER; Sounds pretty simple to me. What could possibly go wrong? Go set things up with Ticketmaster and we'll sell all 4 thousand seats at a huge premium. Heck, we can make all the money back that we lost by NOT being in the playoffs for the last nine years.
EMPLOYEE: But we have to educate the ticket buying public and make sure they're aware of this new process. We need to be transparent. We need to let them know that we'll do everything possible to make up for the pain we caused them by locking out the players and shortening the season.
LEADER: Oh yeah, I forgot about that lost revenue. Let's jack the prices up even higher to make up for those losses.
EMPLOYEE: And we have to be available to answer all their questions about acquiring playoff tickets. We need to have a chat line on the website, set up a phone line so people can talk to us and respond to each and every email request. That way we're showing that we really do care about our fans.
LEADER: I'm thinking $472 dollars for a seat in the 300 Level and $1300 dollars a ticket in the 100 Level. And if we get to the second round, we can double those prices.
EMPLOYEE: But sir, the Ottawa Senators are only charging regular season prices for the first round of the playoffs because they feel they did a disservice to their fans during the lockout. Such a nice gesture.
LEADER: What a bunch of dummies. That's no way to run a business.
EMPLOYEE: Yes, but it's terrific customer service. By the way sir, your golf club called, they want to know why nobody showed up for their regular April tee time. Is the team no longer associated with that golf club?
LEADER: Golf? Don't they know the Leafs are in the playoffs this year?
EMPLOYEE: No sir, they thought someone was playing an April Fools joke on them. They have seven tee times reserved for this afternoon. You know, the usual suspects.
LEADER: Well you tell them that we won't be playing golf anytime soon. This team has turned the corner and we're going to sell thousands of thousands of playoff tickets to fans who only have to click a mouse. How much more convenient can it be to follow your favorite team?
EMPLOYEE: Sir, your wife just called. She's all packed and ready for her annual vacation to Mexico. You know, the one you've been going on for the last nine years.
LEADER: Tell her we've got a pair of playoff tickets instead. Along with dinner, parking, a few beers and some peanuts, it'll cost us about the same as that Mexican getaway. Unless we play Montreal in the first round. Then it'll cost double.
Perhaps you heard about the kerfuffle with Toronto Maple Leaf playoff tickets. Earlier today, thousands of fans went online, hoping to purchase these ducats. You needed access to a special website, not the Maple Leafs site. You had to sign up with the "Last Minute Club". Even then, there was a malfunction in the system and you couldn't get through to Ticketmaster. Never has selling playoff tickets been so difficult. You would think this was the first time the Leafs had sold playoff tickets in........Oh never mind. Just imagine the meeting that took place at Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment, when they realized that the Leafs had clinched a playoff spot.
LEADER: OK everyone, let's lay out our strategy for selling these ridiculously overpriced tickets to a gullible public that's starving for a winner. First of all, what happened the last time we made the playoffs?
EMPLOYEE: Nobody knows sir. It was so long ago, all those employees have retired, or were fired by Brian Burke. Nobody has any experience in selling playoff tickets.
LEADER: Well, it can't be too difficult. Let's mail out letters to all our season ticket subscribers and put the remaining tickets on sale at the box office so people can line up.
EMPLOYEE: Sir, that may have worked in 2004, but nowadays everything is done online. I've been told it's way easier to sell them that way. Plus, we put the word out through social media.
LEADER; Sounds pretty simple to me. What could possibly go wrong? Go set things up with Ticketmaster and we'll sell all 4 thousand seats at a huge premium. Heck, we can make all the money back that we lost by NOT being in the playoffs for the last nine years.
EMPLOYEE: But we have to educate the ticket buying public and make sure they're aware of this new process. We need to be transparent. We need to let them know that we'll do everything possible to make up for the pain we caused them by locking out the players and shortening the season.
LEADER: Oh yeah, I forgot about that lost revenue. Let's jack the prices up even higher to make up for those losses.
EMPLOYEE: And we have to be available to answer all their questions about acquiring playoff tickets. We need to have a chat line on the website, set up a phone line so people can talk to us and respond to each and every email request. That way we're showing that we really do care about our fans.
LEADER: I'm thinking $472 dollars for a seat in the 300 Level and $1300 dollars a ticket in the 100 Level. And if we get to the second round, we can double those prices.
EMPLOYEE: But sir, the Ottawa Senators are only charging regular season prices for the first round of the playoffs because they feel they did a disservice to their fans during the lockout. Such a nice gesture.
LEADER: What a bunch of dummies. That's no way to run a business.
EMPLOYEE: Yes, but it's terrific customer service. By the way sir, your golf club called, they want to know why nobody showed up for their regular April tee time. Is the team no longer associated with that golf club?
LEADER: Golf? Don't they know the Leafs are in the playoffs this year?
EMPLOYEE: No sir, they thought someone was playing an April Fools joke on them. They have seven tee times reserved for this afternoon. You know, the usual suspects.
LEADER: Well you tell them that we won't be playing golf anytime soon. This team has turned the corner and we're going to sell thousands of thousands of playoff tickets to fans who only have to click a mouse. How much more convenient can it be to follow your favorite team?
EMPLOYEE: Sir, your wife just called. She's all packed and ready for her annual vacation to Mexico. You know, the one you've been going on for the last nine years.
LEADER: Tell her we've got a pair of playoff tickets instead. Along with dinner, parking, a few beers and some peanuts, it'll cost us about the same as that Mexican getaway. Unless we play Montreal in the first round. Then it'll cost double.
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