ON THE MARK.

FAREWELL TO IVOR WYNNE AND NASSAU COUNTY COLISEUM

When it comes to sports venues, I'm not really a sentimental guy.  Oh, I understand certain collectors want items such as the toilet from Leafs dressing room at Maple Leaf Gardens or other such artifacts.  Not me.   These buildings are nothing but bricks and mortar, or steel and concrete.   Take Ivor Wynne Stadium in Hamilton.  They're going to start tearing it down soon after the Cats play their last home game on Saturday.  People are being asked for their memories.  Here's mine.

In the late 70s, Harold Ballard owned both the Ticats and the Toronto Maple Leafs.  He was a bombastic bear of a man, who intimidated a good many people, including your humble reporter, who was a young radio broadcaster at the time.  Just off the press box at Ivor Wynne was a washroom.   I happened to be doing my business there prior to a game (Number one) when Mr. Ballard took the urinal beside me.   After a cursory look between us, we both stared at the wall ahead when I noticed something dripping on my shoe.   It was Ballard.  He was peeing on me.    Now, if you've ever tried to stop a pee because someone is relieving themself on your shoe, you know how tough it is.   I'm pretty sure Ballard did this on purpose because I was in the habit of mocking the Ticats and the Leafs in those days.    So there you go.  My memory of Ivor Wynne Stadium is the owner of the team peeing on my shoe.

My vivid memory of the Long Island Veterans Memorial Colseum, home of the New York Islanders (who are moving to Brooklyn) is quite different.  When I was working for Global TV, we had the rights to the mid-week Maple Leaf games.   I was the host of the show, and Joe Bowen and Harry Neale did play by play and colour.   One night when the Leafs were in Long Island, a wicked snowstorm blanketed the East Coast and Bowen's flight was cancelled.  Two hours to airtime, and I found out I would be doing the play by play.   Nervous!  I went up to the booth, studied my notes, and just before the broadcast began, got a call from my producer who told me that they had gotten an experienced play by play guy, Chuck Kaiton from the Hartford Whalers, to do the game, and that I was to go downstairs for the opening of the show.  I was pissed.  I went downstairs, did the opening to the show, and then went for a beer.  And then another.  And then another.   I was also a cigarette smoker at the time, and went outside for a butt.  But when I tried to get back in, a security guard wouldn't let me because I didn't have my ID.  I protested, and, somewhat inebriated and aggravated, tried to shove my way past security.   Oh Oh.  They took me to the security office, tried to call my producer in the truck, but couldn't reach him because the game was going on.    Meanwhile, as they were getting near the end of the period, I knew they would be throwing to me down in the studio for the intermission interview, only I wasn't there.   With about 2 minutes left in the period, I made a break for it, dashing past the security officer behind the desk and then sprinting down the hallway towards the Leafs dressing room.   I ran into the dressing room, hid in the trainers room, and then when the period was over, slipped into the studio next door, expecting to find the cops waiting for me.    Luckily, there was no security, but at the end of the game, they tried to come and take me off the team bus.  These security goons were serious.   Thank God for the late Leaf coach Pat Burns, an ex cop..  He told the security guys they had no right to board the bus, told the bus driver to close the doors, and off we sped into the night.  I believe they still have my face on a "Wanted" poster at that arena.   I have never gone back.