ON THE MARK.

HOCKEY PLAYERS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS.

If there's one thing I miss more than anything else, it's the between periods interviews during NHL games.  Oh sure, I miss the games themselves.  The great goals, the hard hits (but not to the head), the acrobatic saves are all well and good, but when the period is over, that's when we get to see the "true" hockey player.
When I was at Global TV, I hosted the midweek Maple Leaf games for 8 years.  It's possible that you never saw my work because you always went to the bathroom or got something to eat while I was doing my thing. That's OK.  That's what intermissions are for.   I was also the guy standing rinkside to open the broadcast, rhyming off some stats, highlighting key players and then throwing to Joe Bowen and Harry Neale for their perspective up in the booth.  I was the guy who did those sweaty player interviews between periods.   These weren't 60 second interviews in the hallway before the guy went into the dressing room.   At Global, we did 5 minute interviews between periods because there was no "desk" to throw back to.   Now, some players were easy to interview for 5 minutes.  Marty McSorley, Paul Ysebaert, Ken Baumgartner and Ed Olczyk come to mind.   But 5 minutes is an eternity when you're trying to extract information from a guy who's sweating like a pig, hasn't scored in a month and knows that next door in the dressing room his coach is yelling and screaming at his teammates for lack of effort.
     I once interviewed Dave Christian of the St. Louis Blues between periods.  He had been playing horseshit, but we had already made arrangements prior to the game to have him on.  What can you do?   His answers were of the one-word variety.  "How would you describe your teams play out there?"  "Lousy".   "What's it going to take to come back in the 2nd period?"  "Hard work".  "What do you think of this Maple Leaf team?"  "They're tough". By this time, my producer is telling me in my earpiece that I have 4 minutes left in the interview.  4 minutes!  What am I going to do now?   My next question was:  "How old were you when you first started playing hockey?"   Thank goodness he went on about how his Dad built a backyard rink when he was four,  and he and his brother used to fight for ice time and how the family made hockey sticks and on and on.   Before I knew it, it was time to wrap the interview.  I thanked Dave Christian and he shook my hand with his sweaty, clammy paw.  Ugh!   I now smelled like the inside of a hockey glove, and trust me, you never want that odious experience.
     The between periods interview allows you go get really, really close to someone who you don't want to be that close to.  Ever.  Both of you have to fit in the camera shot, and a lot of times the close up on the players face shows every bead of sweat.  Now, imagine that sweat dripping onto your pants or your shoes.  Now, imagine having to endure that for 5 minutes along with garlic breath, coffee breath, a reeking, sopping uniform and a gaze that says "I would kill to NOT have to do this interview".   Believe me, I felt the same way many times.     Today's interviewers are lucky.   They grab a guy when he comes off the ice, ask him exactly two questions, finish up with "Good luck the rest of the way" and sends it back to the booth or the desk or the panel or whatever.   I say bring back the sweaty player interview between periods.  Sit that guy down between periods and grill him, 60 minutes style.  Ask the tough questions about drug use, hazing, picking up girls on the road, airplane pranks, excessive drinking.  All the good stuff.    Not gonna happen.  The hockey player is paid to put the puck in the net, or stop the opponent from doing so.   Nothing in the hockey players manual says anything about being interviewed.   Let's hope that, during this lockout, more NHL players will have the opportunity to hone their interviewee skills.  They do, after all, have a lot more than 5 minutes to spare.